


The Field Journal of Clint Barton, As Sent To Nick Fury [Budapest Edition]

by couldbecourfeyrac



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-03-17 04:39:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13651611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/couldbecourfeyrac/pseuds/couldbecourfeyrac
Summary: In which two assassins help each other regain humanity.ORIn which Clint gets a friend by bribing his target with french fries.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [My Dumbass Friend Gabe](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=My+Dumbass+Friend+Gabe).



**DAY ONE IN BUDAPEST**

 

I’ve scoped out the area. It looks like it’s just her, no backup.

Could be a trap, though.

 

**DAY TWO IN BUDAPEST**

 

You already know this, but her target is Jonathan Charrister, American billionaire.

I mingled at a party he was at. She didn’t show. 

I’ve compiled a list of places she might be staying, I’m gonna check them out soon.

 

**DAY THREE IN BUDAPEST**

 

She’s taking her time with this one, having a little fun and toying with him.

Saw her at the market earlier today, she smirked at the security detail, winked at Charrister, blew a kiss, and walked away.

I know you want this done fast, but she’s better than I am, and you know it. I need to be careful with this one.

 

**DAY FOUR IN BUDAPEST**

 

I think she knows who I am.

She ran into me outside of a shop today. She looked me in the eyes, and I swear...

She’s terrifying. Beautiful, yeah, but cold and filled with the promise of pain. 

I need to get this done with soon.

 

**DAY FIVE IN BUDAPEST**

 

She sleeps handcuffed to the bed. Probably started in the Red Room, and it doesn’t seem like she ever broke the habit.

It was almost too easy, though. Do you think she planned this?

Stuck a tranq in her and took her to the safe house.

I can’t wait until tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

**DAY ONE WITH NATASHA**

 

She didn’t even seem surprised when she woke up.

Smirked at me, didn’t speak.

This is gonna be fun.

 

**DAY TWO WITH NATASHA**

 

Like I said before, there’s no doubt that she’s beautiful. But something about her...

How did they not immediately notice that she would be their deaths?

She changed for them, I guess.

Of course she did.

She does that sometimes.

 

**DAY THREE WITH NATASHA**

 

Read through her file again.

It’s not hard to understand why she does what she does and how she does it.

 

**DAY FOUR WITH NATASHA**

 

She’s been pretty quiet so far. Hasn’t tried to escape, hasn’t said anything. Uses various signals to communicate anything she needs.

Other than that, she just sits there in the corner of the room. Watching me.

When she’s watching you... It’s something else. You know that she’s studying you, analyzing you, and that she can (and probably will) kill you without even blinking, but you don’t really mind that. Because, when she’s watching you, it’s like she knows all the shitty things you’ve done, all the crimes you’ve committed, and she simultaneously understands and doesn’t care. It’s surprisingly comforting, that sense of analytical understanding.

It’s probably part of what makes her so dangerous.

She can be anything to anyone, and she’ll use that to hurt you.

To me, right now she looks like a woman who’s been brainwashed into a monster. And I know she’ll use it against me, but I’m starting to pity her.

 

**DAY FIVE WITH NATASHA**

 

I’ve started talking to her now. Partially to see if she’ll respond, partially to distract me from the way she’s studying me.

Neither’s working.

Food and dogs don’t seem to phase her, and she only looked mildly interested when I mentioned SHIELD. And I can’t talk about SHIELD.

She does seem to want to look at my field journal, but I can’t let her see that.

Can I, though? No? Fine. I’ll just let her keep watching me with those _eyes._

Damn that Russian spy.


	3. Chapter 3

**DAY SIX WITH NATASHA**

She spoke today.

Fury, she _spoke._

It was like-I can’t explain it right, but I’ll try.

Her stare would crack anyone after six days. So I talked, and I didn’t stop. She was mainly ignoring me.

“Y’know, I don’t think we’re that different.”

Until, suddenly, she wasn’t. it caught me a little off-guard, but I kept talking.

“Look, I-Okay, we’re both assassins. And being an assassin-missions don’t always go right, yeah? So, we probably both have scars.”

I swear to God, she completely changed.

She had been all curled up before, looking absolutely haughty while she watched me. Now?  She sat up, her eyes going a little wide, and she looked…vulnerable, really. It was only for a second, but she appeared more human than she had the entire time I had known her.

Then, she spoke.

“You aren’t trying to kill me.” It was a statement, but it seemed more like a question.

“I’m giving you a chance.”

She nodded, and we didn’t speak for the rest of the night.

 

 

**DAY SEVEN WITH NATASHA**

She’s gone back to watching me.

 

 

**DAY EIGHT WITH NATASHA**

She hasn’t spoken again (yet), but I think she likes the french fries from one of the nearby shops.

Yes, I’m giving her french fries.

No, nobody’s come looking.

 

 

**DAY NINE WITH NATASHA**

She opened her handcuffs while I was sitting a foot away.

I thought I was a dead man, I grabbed my gun and aimed it at her.

But no, she just walked up and closed the window, before going back over and putting the cuffs back on. She was completely calm, like I hadn’t pulled a gun on her or anything.

Seems like she’s a I’d-rather-boil-than-be-comfortable type of person.

And I think she’s starting to like me.

 

 

**DAY TEN WITH NATASHA**

She’s watching the news channel.

Should I be worried? Is she receiving messages via TV? I don’t know, I’m going to let her watch in peace.

Yeah, it might get me killed.

Nah, I’m not worried.


	4. Chapter 4

**DAY ELEVEN WITH NATASHA**

I know you want to know why I haven’t killed her.

I’ve gotten all the messages, all the orders.

Just trust me on this one, Fury. Please.

She’ll join. I just have to get her to talk.

 

 

**DAY TWELVE WITH NATASHA**

Christ, so much happened today.

I’ll write it down in the morning, I need to sleep now.

 

 

**WHAT HAPPENED ON DAY TWELVE WITH NATASHA**

We played a game.

I think she won, though it’s not the kind of game that usually has a winner or a loser.

It was a questions game. For every questions I’d ask her, she’d get to as me one. Honest answers. Couldn’t be about SHIELD intel.

We were sitting across from each other at our makeshift dining room table. She wasn’t wearing the handcuffs, but I didn’t mention it.

I went first, started off easy. “Full name?”

“Natalia Alianovna Romanova.” It took her a moment to say it, like she could barely remember. “I think I’ll just call you Nat,” I said, and she might’ve smiled.

“Why haven’t you killed me?” Always gets straight to the point, that one.

“I think you deserve another chance. Why did you let me capture you?”

I didn’t see her answer coming.

“It was better to die than continue what I was doing.”

The game stopped for the day after that, but so did the silence.

I’m not sure what changed, but something did.


	5. Chapter 5

**DAY ONE WITH NAT**

Started off the day with a new question.

“Are you trying to recruit me, Agent?” she asked, completely neutral as I handed her a bagel. “If I can,’ I replied.

It took me awhile to come up with a good question.

“Do you know who I am?”

She smirked. “Vaguely. Who are you?”

“Clint Barton.” “What’s your full name?” “It’s my turn, not yours,” I said, and she smiled like she knew something I didn’t.

“How many people have you killed?”

For a split second, she wasn’t Nat anymore, she was the Black Widow, and I’m fairly certain she wanted to stab me.

“Too many.”

And that was that.

 

**DAY TWO WITH NAT**

“How long have you been with SHIELD?”

“Feels like eternity.”

“That’s not much of an answer,” she said, as she threw a french fry at my head. (Yes, I’m still giving her french fries.)  “It’s the only one you’re going to get.”

She frowned, and pretty much ignored me until I asked my next question.

“Who trained you?”

“A monster.”

“Nat, who-“ “A monster.” I could tell that was all she would say, so I gave up.

“What’s your full name?”

“Clinton Francis Barton.” It was obvious that she wanted to laugh at me.

And I know, I really do, that I’m not supposed to give away that much information, but I had to. You know I did.

 

**DAY THREE WITH NAT**

I think I’ve mainly convinced her that I’m not going to hurt her, though I’m not quite as sure about whether or not she’s going to hurt me.

“Who ran the Red Room?”

“Ivan the Strange. Who sent you to kill me?”

“My boss.”

She shook her head a little, but didn’t comment, letting me talk.

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Don’t have one. What’s your preferred weapon?”

“Bow and arrows, believe it or not.”

She arched an eyebrow, looking nothing short of royal, and the game continued.

“Why haven’t you killed me?”

Her posture relaxed, and she appeared to be dangerously comfortable with her surroundings. “You amuse me,” she said matter-of-factly, and for a second I understood the fear that came with looking the Black Widow dead in the eye.

 

 

**DAY FOUR WITH NAT**

She didn’t ask any questions today, just watched the news, did push-ups, and listened to me talk about my dog.

 

**DAY FIVE WITH NAT**

I went out today. Scoped the area. Still seems like nobody’s looking for her.

Not suspicious at all…


	6. Chapter 6

**DAY SIX WITH NAT**

“How far away could you shoot this French fry with an arrow from?

I paused, and thought a moment. “Not sure. Maybe a residential block.”

She nodded.

“What about you? With a normal gun, that is.”

She shrugged. “Around the same.”

 

 

**DAY SEVEN WITH NAT**

I’ve been told multiple times that I’m good at reading people.

By Coulson, Hill, May-even by you, Fury.

I think we can trust Natasha Romanoff.

 

 

**DAY EIGHT WITH NAT**

“Have you heard of the Winter Soldier?”

“A few times. Why?”

“Pure curiosity. Have you met him?”

“He’s a ghost story. I haven’t. …have you?”

“All of us Russian monsters know each other.”

I know she knows that I know she knows more about the Soldier, more about a lot of things we should know about. I don’t think she’ll tell me, though. At least not yet.

 

 

**DAY NINE WITH NAT**

“Do you have a tragic backstory?” The words are almost taunting, but she did sound fairly sincere.

“Every SHIELD agent does, it seems.” I didn’t exactly dodge the question, but I didn’t answer it entirely, either. There are some things you just don’t talk about.

“You called yourself a Russian monster. Why?”

“Because that’s what I am, Clinton. That’s what I always have been.”

 

 

**DAY TEN WITH NAT**

“Are you in love with anyone? Anything?”

“Yeah. I think so. Are you?”

“I don’t know. I…I can’t remember.”

 


	7. Chapter 7

**DAY ELEVEN WITH NAT**

She was unusually quiet today. I don’t know what to make of it.

It’s like she’s preparing for something, steeling herself.

Hope that doesn’t mean I’m about to get my ass kicked.

 

 

**DAY TWELVE WITH NAT**

The silence continued.

She looked like she wanted to talk to me a few times, but didn’t.

I’m starting to get worried.

I swear to God, Fury, if you get me killed on this mission…

 

 

**DAY THIRTEEN WITH NAT**

Good news: she talked again today. It wasn’t anything exciting, just your basic pleasantries.

Bad news: she doesn’t look any less nervous. Which is making me nervous.

The tension in this damn safehouse is overwhelming.

And I can already tell what Maria is going to think when she reads over this, so I’d like to clarify that _no, it is not sexual tension._

~~I think.~~

**DAY FOURTEEN WITH NAT**

Well.

Found out why she was nervous.

It was her turn in the questions game, remember?

She asked me about my tragic backstory.

And you know me, Fury.

I didn’t tell her everything. Didn’t tell her how much it hurt, how much it still hurts, how I still can’t hear someone yell without remembering my father, but I told her enough to make her get all quiet.

Then she apologized for asking and said it wasn’t her place to pry, which made me feel worse, for some reason.

You didn’t expect this to turn into my therapy session, now did you?

 

 

**DAY FIFTEEN WITH NAT**

She treats me differently now. Not in a bad way, though.

It’s like she respects me more, but also cares more, y’know?

I would almost say she trusts me now, but I think it’s gonna take more time for that.

I don’t quite trust her yet either, but I really do think we’ll be able to soon enough.

And I think I know what my next question is.


	8. Chapter 8

**DAY SIXTEEN WITH NAT**

We’ve returned to our regular routine.

She’s starting to open up more, though. Even told a joke or two, which were funny but weird to hear, because Black Widow telling jokes is not something I ever thought I’d experience.

Still keeping an eye out for anyone who was sent after her. Because there will be someone. An asset as infamous as she is would never just be let go like this.

I don’t even try to keep her locked up anymore. But she hasn’t tried to leave yet.

 

 

**DAY SEVENTEEN WITH NAT**

I spotted the KGB agents in the market.

Two of them, both male, late thirties, heavily armed.

Stuck out so much I’m surprised they weren’t arrested.

I’m also surprised they hadn’t sent more, and sooner.

I haven’t told her about the agents, but I feel like she knows.

Wonder if she’d help me or turn against me if they attacked right now. I don’t think anyone could be sure, not even her.

Taking one more day of recon. I’ll deal with them tomorrow.

 

 

**DAY EIGHTEEN WITH NAT**

Three more arrived. Brought even more weapons with them. They’ve fortified the place they’re staying at like it’s a damn bunker.

Given that I have her with me, I’m thinking it’s a bit too dangerous to go in.

We’re switching locations ASAP.

 

 

**DAY NINETEEN WITH NAT**

My shoulder hurts like hell, and Nat looks like she’ll kill me if I keep writing and upsetting my wound.

I’ll tell you what happened tomorrow.

 

 

**WHAT HAPPENED ON DAY NINETEEN WITH NAT**

It was…hectic, to say the least.

I went out to make sure our course out was clear, ended up in a firefight with four out of the five agents.

I had taken out two of them when the fifth appeared and shit started to hit the fan.

Got shot in the shoulder. Kept going, took another one out, but I was pretty sure I was dead. They had superior weapons, more people, could call for back up, and they had the high ground, a la Star Wars. Except I was the Anakin of this equation.

Then she showed up.

It may be hard to believe, but Romanoff saved my life. She took out the two remaining agents, carted me back to the safehouse, and patched me up best she could.

I don’t know why she did it.

But she did.

 

 

**DAY TWENTY WITH NAT**

“I know you want to ask why I did it. Save your question. I don’t know why. I’m not supposed to know why, or ask why. At least, I’ve never been supposed to before. Why is for guitar players and Americans, after all.”

That last line… I could tell it wasn’t something she had just come with by herself.

That was the sort of thing you learned.

The sort of thing you had drilled into your head until you couldn’t really remember anything else.

I trust her now, tentatively. But I don’t think she quite trusts herself.


	9. Chapter 9

**DAY TWENTY-ONE WITH NAT**

The shoulder wound isn’t as bad as I thought, I’ll be fine soon enough.

Probably.

Nothing too exciting happened today, though I have-nevermind. This is a field journal, not a notebook.

 

 

**DAY TWENTY-TWO WITH NAT**

I’m only required to right down what I see, right? And any thoughts pertinent to the mission. Wonder how many poor agents were thanking God that the requirements didn’t include feelings.

The day passed without incident.

I think she’s waiting for me to ask my question. It is my turn, after all.

I’m not sure if I’m ready to ask it, though.

Even just hearing about things like that can change you, or just mess you up pretty bad.

 

 

**DAY TWENTY-THREE WITH NAT**

I-Well.

I asked her.

The same question she asked me.

And she did it, Fury.

She told me her tragic backstory.

Not all of it, she doesn’t know me well enough for that yet.

But-Christ.

I think she spared me some of the worst bits, not to mention all the gory details.

Is this why you sent me?

Is this why you sent the newbie carnie to take out _the_ Black Widow?

Cause you knew I’d sympathize with her, maybe even disobey orders and try to help her?

Cause you knew that she needed that help?

I don’t know whether I should thank you or tell you to go to hell, Nick.

 

 

**DAY TWENTY-FOUR WITH NAT**

She’s been avoiding me like the plague.

I think she thinks that telling me what she did would make me believe that she’s a monster like she does, when in reality that’s one of the last things I’d ever think of her.

I’m going to talk to her tomorrow.

 

 

**DAY TWENTY-FIVE WITH NAT**

We talked.

Actually, we did more than talk. A lot more.

And y’know what?

I’m not gonna tell you what you did. Draw your own conclusions, make your own guesses.

The truth, well, you could say that it’s…classified.

What happened that night is between me and her. Nobody else needs to know.

Not even you, Director.

I also talked to her about joining us in SHIELD.

She said yes.

Congratulations, sir. You’ve gotten another living legend to join your ranks.

The Black Widow.

She’s going to be your best agent one day, I know she is. She’ll surprise you, just you wait.

Agent Natasha Romanoff.

I like the sound of that.

And I think she does, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first AO3 fic, so please tell me if there are any formatting errors. Any comments would be appreciated! -Eliza


End file.
